don't want to feel "efes" anymore

hello, can anybodfy hear me? i I really just want to die or disappear what is the easiest way to do it? and why should i not try again? yes i know, my family, but do they want to have a crazy mother?it is really hard for me to write now, , I am so tired and I am writing with so many mistakes and I don't know what to say but that life suc ks and anybody that says anything else is a lyar !! and I hate to be right now. please tell me what to do. .....I don't want to hurt anybody, but who can help me? no fucking psykiater........................... anyway...................... somebody say something ,expect bullsuhit............................... i need a real reason to live, and to know that i t will be better than now................................... I really want to disapear//////////////////////////////////////

I really want to write something that won't sound stupid to you...there are many good reasons to live but you can't beleive any of them because you are deprresed, you are very ill.this is why you feel so worthless,this is why you cant enjoy life.not because what you are-you are great and strong,not bacause what life is-life is beutifull. there is a beatiful life after deprresion.pleas take care of youself as you deserve and get a good treatment

שלום דבריך מעידים על מצוקה קשה ואני לא חושב שיהיה אפשר באמת לעזור במסגרת זו. אני מציע לפנות בהקדם האפשרי לטיפול. תמיכה מקצועית וסביבתית מאוד חשובה במצב זה. במקרה חרום אפשר להתקשר לער"ן או קווי מצוקה אחרים ולדבר ישירות עם מתנדב. כמו כן ניתן לפנות לאתר האינטרנט של סהר: http://www.sahar.org.il בברכה ד"ר אורן קפלן